It’s safe to say that Rep. Liz Cheney is done in Congress — at least as a Republican from Wyoming — if not done in the party altogether, as she has now become the brunt of late-night jokes from a right-leaning network.
Fox News host Greg Gutfeld brutally roasted Cheney and the entire House Jan. 6 Committee during his Friday monologue in which he mocked the panel’s unanimous decision to issue a subpoena to former President Donald Trump so as to compel him to testify, a final performance of political theatrics ahead of midterm elections that aren’t likely to be good for Cheney’s new friends, the Democrats.
“Just 25 days before the midterms, the Jan. 6th panel votes unanimously to subpoena Trump. That’s about as surprising as the final score at a Harlem Globetrotters game, and it’s about as spontaneous as Adam Schiff’s face. Does that make sense? No,” Gutfeld began.
“And what a coincidence, it happens the same day the inflation number comes out, and it’s higher than Hunter Biden on free crack day. Crime is exploding like a can of Sprite left in a freezer too long,” he continued.
“The borders are as open as the West Wing’s windows when Joe forgets his Lactaid pills. Kids are getting dumber, and I have to walk over a drugged-out zombie just to get to work. ‘So why not? Let’s go after Trump,’ screams the Dems. This guy’s been in more fake trials than the cast of Law and Order,” Gutfeld said to guffaws of laughter from the audience.
“But the hope is the news cycle will shift from Biden’s disasters to the orange monster who can make Adam Kinzinger cry like he’s cutting onions while his nuts are —-. Terrible,” he joked.
“So will this distraction overwhelm the public enough that they’ll forget it costs 100 bucks to fill up a tank of gas or 15 bucks for a pack of hot dogs? You heard right, Joy Behar’s lunch costs 15 bucks. Fifteen bucks is true, for a pack of dogs. Did someone blow up the Oscar Mayer pipeline, too?” he said. “Can’t the president tap into our tube steak reserves?”
“Look, surveys tell us everyone what everyone cares about, it ain’t Jan 6th. It’s the economy. It’s crime. January 6th is less important than Todd Pirro’s time slot. Someone’s watching, probably your family,” Gutfeld added, smiling.
“Here’s why. January 6th is not eating away at your retirement fund. It’s not mugging people on the subways. It’s not killing people by the tens of thousands like fentanyl, and it’s certainly not elevating the possibility for nuclear war as we pour billions into a conflict thousands of miles away, and I don’t mean Kat’s honeymoon. Each one of those things is an urgent matter,” the host said.
“People are dying on the streets, in their beds, and soon, maybe everywhere else, they have us so close to a nuclear disaster, you can practically taste the plutonium. Which reminds me of Dana’s queso — nah, that was worse,” Gutfeld said.
“But January 6th, that’s the concern. It’s their Hail Mary. No wonder so many are leaving the party like the keg is empty, and the cops just showed up, including this smart woman,” said the host, in reference to former Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, who was on the set as he played a clip of her announcement last week that she left the Democratic Party.
“You know that lady, I think she makes a lot of sense. I should have her on. But don’t fret, Democrats, you lost the Tulsi, but you gained a Liz Cheney. But I’m starting to think the Dems screwed up with this insurrection theater,” said Gutfeld.
“I predict it’s going to backfire, like Eric Swalwell after an extra-large bean burrito. It’s not going to jail Trump, it’s going to get him re-elected. There’s going to be a Red Dawn, starting with an orange dawn. Rather than tackle the border, they want to audit Ron DeSantis. Yeah, that’s just what America asks for. Never mind our sovereignty is being invaded. Let’s find out if he was really talking politics when he wrote off that dinner at the Outback Steakhouse,” the host continued.
“So now we have a war. We have inflation. We have violence. It ends there if we’re lucky. We’ve got a White House that not only created 99% of it, but can’t do squat about any of it, except to tell you not to believe your lying eyes and radioactive skin,” he added.