Chrissy Teigen, model, actor, wife to singer John Legend and huge bully told her 34.9 million followers she feels like “utter s**t.” Using the very social media platforms she once used to bully multiple women, Teigen is now looking for praise, support, and well, basically the opposite of what she has always done to others.

Teigen has lost some partnerships such as a cookware line with Macy’s since knowledge of her public cyber-bullying came into the spotlight. Ironically, she considers herself a victim of cancel culture. On Instagram, Teigen lamented about her woes alongside a photo of the view from her couch, in “cancel club.”

“Just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter shit in real life. Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race…

“I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay. I’m not used to any other way!! Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a wholllllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it…

A pretty selfish message coming from someone who made others feel so much like s**t that they contemplated suicide. But that’s not something Teigen addresses. The only remote hint of remorse is where she writes, “And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney [sic] when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow.”

No apology, but at least a smidge of acknowledging she did something wrong? Then she promptly goes back to her ‘woe is me’ narrative. “All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment w9tht you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day.” That’s understandable considering she seems like a pretty miserable person.

She finishes by making light of her “punishment” by adding, “if you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love you.” Chrissy, you don’ belong in “cancel club” you belong in an anger management or ‘Bullies R’ Us’ club.